How do I beat domestic battery charges against my covert narcissist husband who is lying and playing the victim?

I am the original poster and below will be a message that I typed up to send to his coworker after I saw the messages between them where my husband is doing nothing but lying and playing the victim. I have not sent it at this time and I do have evidence to prove 11+ years of abuse.

This one too. Sorry I guess I am just desperately for someone to see the real truth. I have literally experienced everything there videos are showing/saying.

That video is literally my life. I'm falsely accused and punished repeatedly for shit I didn't even do. Yes I know I'm crazy and I didn't used to be and I don't act like that with anyone else. I do try to communicate like an adult or walk away but he doesn't let up. Instead of cooling down he stews. He pretty much lies about everything, gaslights and triangulates. He has his flying monkeys babysitting and stalking me at all times and will say things like "Is that dumb whore there or did she leave already?" to his mom. And his mom is blaming me for the car thing but that shit was based on lies too. That's why I flipped out because I'm tired of being lied about and being punished for stuff I'm not doing. I will absolute admit to anything I have actually done and I'm far from perfect but I don't deserve this shit. Nobody does and I can't say anything about anything or I'm punished for that too and I'm not allowed to have friends.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

I'm also not expecting anything or wanting you to hate him. I just don't need anymore trauma. As the actual victims for over 10 years it fucked me up gotta charged with domestic battery and the first thing I told the cops was I didn't want him to get arrested. He always promises change and he loves me but it's never true and he will say and do anything and stoop so low just to hurt me and I hate myself for stooping to his level and sayings really mean fucked up shit bec until that night I NEVER used his childhoods trauma against him like he always does to me.

I know this will probably backfire on me but I can't take this shit anymore. I literally have nobody and nowhere to go because I'm not allowed to do anything and Gordon is a liar. I only hit him because he attacked me first and I got tired of being abused and started fighting back. Once I got him off of me I was trying to leave and he body checked me and shoved me into the bathroom doorframe 2x. He has punched me in my back and spit on me in my sleep and broke my phone so I couldn't call the cops. He fractured my eye socket because I put makeup on to go to work so that meant I was fucking someone. I begged Gaylon Severe not to press charges for my orbital floor fracture. He has thrown my phone at my vagina while I was sleeping in the middle of the night accusing me of cheating. Woke me up in the middle of the night threatening to kill me. He ripped open mine and my kids bag of belongings over the top of us so we had to leave with nothing and couldn't even get their shoes. Tells them to get out with their whore mom. Has threatened to throw them off a bridge. He has texted "I hope you and your little cunts die" referring to his own kids. Told me to go get rope burn like my dad who hung himself. Told me I was gangbanged by the homeboys because I was raped as a teenager. Has committed coercive rape against me so many times. The list goes on and on. He is a covert narcissist and his mom and brother gang up on me too. I never had a drug problem until I was trying to escape the pain from psychological, mental, emotional and physical abuse along with trying to be the perfect wife with my worsening physical problem so maybe he would stop. I was defending myself and the only reason I actually got arrested is because probation violated me for getting a misdemeanor citation. There also isn't a protection order and I am almost 100% certain it will be dropped. I'm so sick of him playing the victim and running a smear campaign against me because I got fed up and stopped putting up with his shit. He literally tells me that his abuse against me is hearsay and deletes pictures/evidence out of my phone. He goes through my phone constantly and I don't have anything to hide other than evidence because he is vindictive and psychotic. He is so nice, generous and helpful to everyone else,even total strangers but is a monster to his wife and kids. He only does nice things to hold it over my head or make himself look good. I am sorry for sending you this too and I know I shouldn't have gone through his phone but he is always either constantly looking at women/porn or talking to one (why he is always accusing me so most of the shit he says about me is him projecting his own thoughts and behaviors onto me). I always try to walk away first as well and I can be in a different room for hours completely ignoring him and he will still verbally assault me and sometimes physically because I'm not giving him the reaction he wants. The videos he has of me are recorded after he has tortured me for hours/days and I finally snap and treat him the Way he treats me and he is totally calm. He is not the victim. Again I don't care if you tell him I messaged you because I know he is your friend. I would probably be better off being homeless anyway. Also I'm not even on drugs and haven't been for a while and he was doing them with me as well. It's so infuriating that he can lie and get sympathy when he has been torturing me for over a decade. He literally gave me a double fracture in the very bottom vertebrae of my spine. I'm also sending proof of my claims and I can prove the marks he showed the police were not from that night. I only have the evidence in the event that he tries to pull some vindictive shit on me because he is insane. I'm not allowed to protect myself though and his mom and Ken are flying monkeys. Ken has tried to attack me while I was pregnant and threatened to poison my kids. His mom is an enabler, victim blamer and drug addict as well. I mean she did sacrifice her own kids so she wouldn't have to deal with the abuse. The whole family is fucked up and it's actually really sad. One last thing, he is the only reason I ever tried meth too. I turned it down every time anyone ever offered it to me until he decided since I was getting pain meds he wanted drugs too and coerced me into doing it.OK?